Here is the most troubling statistic facing the African-American community: 72% of black children are being raised in single family homes. This above all else must be addressed but is seen as dirty laundry. To have that high of a statistic (world average is around 15%), shows there is chronically bad decision making occurring from one generation to the next. It is also cyclical as kids raised in such homes view this as normal and grow up to expect and repeat the same behavior. Just a few episodes of the Maury or Bill Cunningham Show will demonstrate the sad state of affairs as paternity test are the new form of daytime entertainment.
When this kind of foolishness becomes the norm, we are officially tossing the idea of family and stable homes to the side. Now there is a show coming to the Oxygen network about a rapper and his TEN baby momas. This is not a sad documentary but a sleazy reality TV show highlighting each ‘baby mommas’ attempts to gain the affection and financial support of this so called father.
There have been protest and petitions to not air ‘All My Babies’ Momas’ for the moral trash that it is. I, however, am on the opposite side of the fence. If this was some fictional portrayal which never happens then I would also protest the show. But with 72% of Black kids being raised in situations similar to this if not as extreme, I support anything that will bring this conversation to national prominence. We have ignored this problem for way too long. Now let the world see how dirty our laundry actually is and maybe that will spark change. Maybe young people will see this sadness and want to value themselves enough to not repeat this cycle….to end the statistic. Is this show embarrassing ? YES. But the fact that it is should cause an immediate call to action. Not to sweep the dirt back under the rug but to address this issue head on at the #1 problem hurting the black community. Our acceptance of fatherless homes has gone on too long. As BlackNek parents, be sure to teach your daughters to have high expectations of themselves and their lives and that they need to do everything possible to bring children into the world in stable, safe homes. It is not cute to have a baby. It won’t make you popular or the guy love you more. And if a guy has lived irresponsibly all their lives by not taking school seriously and being involved with the criminal justice system, they aren’t going to suddenly become responsible just because you are carrying their child. And please tell your sons to avoid getting in this situation to begin with and explain all of the responsibilities involved with fatherhood. If your son gets a girl pregnant, they better be there 100% with no exception.
This takes us to the topic of the grandparent as the primary parent. This is common in the African-American community as the primary parent might not be available for any number of reasons. Grandparents have been the glue holding families together. As burdensome as it might be, if your child has brought a baby into the world without a stable environment, that baby will likely fall into the CYCLE (single parent home, dropping out, criminal activity) unless some intervention is done. As a BlackNEK, we can do a great service to our community by saving these babies and becoming heavily involved in their lives. This is the case for any young children in your family at risk for the CYCLE. Even if you can open space in your home to give them a new community to live in, this could have wonderful effects in a kid’s life.