Here is the most troubling statistic facing the African-American community: 72% of black children are being raised in single family homes. This above all else must be addressed but is seen as dirty laundry. To have that high of a statistic (world average is around 15%), shows there is chronically bad decision making occurring from one generation to the next. It is also cyclical as kids raised in such homes view this as normal and grow up to expect and repeat the same behavior. Just a few episodes of the Maury or Bill Cunningham Show will demonstrate the sad state of affairs as paternity test are the new form of daytime entertainment.
When this kind of foolishness becomes the norm, we are officially tossing the idea of family and stable homes to the side. Now there is a show coming to the Oxygen network about a rapper and his TEN baby momas. This is not a sad documentary but a sleazy reality TV show highlighting each ‘baby mommas’ attempts to gain the affection and financial support of this so called father.
There have been protest and petitions to not air ‘All My Babies’ Momas’ for the moral trash that it is. I, however, am on the opposite side of the fence. If this was some fictional portrayal which never happens then I would also protest the show. But with 72% of Black kids being raised in situations similar to this if not as extreme, I support anything that will bring this conversation to national prominence. We have ignored this problem for way too long. Now let the world see how dirty our laundry actually is and maybe that will spark change. Maybe young people will see this sadness and want to value themselves enough to not repeat this cycle….to end the statistic. Is this show embarrassing ? YES. But the fact that it is should cause an immediate call to action. Not to sweep the dirt back under the rug but to address this issue head on at the #1 problem hurting the black community. Our acceptance of fatherless homes has gone on too long. As BlackNek parents, be sure to teach your daughters to have high expectations of themselves and their lives and that they need to do everything possible to bring children into the world in stable, safe homes. It is not cute to have a baby. It won’t make you popular or the guy love you more. And if a guy has lived irresponsibly all their lives by not taking school seriously and being involved with the criminal justice system, they aren’t going to suddenly become responsible just because you are carrying their child. And please tell your sons to avoid getting in this situation to begin with and explain all of the responsibilities involved with fatherhood. If your son gets a girl pregnant, they better be there 100% with no exception.
This takes us to the topic of the grandparent as the primary parent. This is common in the African-American community as the primary parent might not be available for any number of reasons. Grandparents have been the glue holding families together. As burdensome as it might be, if your child has brought a baby into the world without a stable environment, that baby will likely fall into the CYCLE (single parent home, dropping out, criminal activity) unless some intervention is done. As a BlackNEK, we can do a great service to our community by saving these babies and becoming heavily involved in their lives. This is the case for any young children in your family at risk for the CYCLE. Even if you can open space in your home to give them a new community to live in, this could have wonderful effects in a kid’s life.
I remember hearing some where that the kids who are always up to the most mischief are the sons and daughters of preachers. I don’t know of any stats to back that up, but I definitely believe that being overbearing with rules and control only leads to rebellion as soon as the kid can make choices for themselves. You want to guide in the right direction but also set up some safe ways for your child to learn from experience. They need to see that what you are teaching them is actually helpful and not just rules for rules sake. Eventually, the goal is to give them independence but support and watch them fly. Well in the story below, this woman’s parents were so overbearing that she had to get a restraining order against them. If you are still trying to act as the correcting parent when your kid is in college, only bad things will happen. It’s even too late if you have done nothing and decide to try being a responsible parent when they are teens. Give your kids while they are young all the success and survival skills you think they will need before letting them leave the nest and you won’t have to worry as much. Bad things happen, but all you can do is prepare them as best you can.
Side note: I really like the idea of using monitoring software on the cell phones given to your kids. But this should be done with complete awareness by your child and not abused as monitoring but simply as an additional safety measure when your kid is traveling.
Don’t have much to say about the whole End of the World Mayan thing ( fact is that the calendar is about a new cycle not the end). Just want to give parents out there a heads up as such events tend to bring out the nutjobs.
Apparently, some brilliants folks created bulletproof backpacks and in today’s climate, they are selling off the racks. Talk about right place, right time. With cowards and mental cases possibly being inspired by what happened in Newtown, every parent is more on edge about sending their kids to school than ever before. I wouldn’t hesitate at all to buy one but this also had me thinking of an entirely new industry for these sad times – k id protection items. Imagine your next stop at Toys R Us or Walmart being video games, an RC car, Legos, and Kevlar Spongebob shirt. As one who believes in protection of the family, here are the top wish list items I would buy in a heartbeat for my kids or their teachers:
- Bulletproof backpack (available here)
- Bulletproof but stylish clothes (kid armor also found here)
- Shoes with enclosed first aid kit
- For every classroom – bulletproof helmets which can be slipped on once Lockdown alarm is sounded
- Tasers for teachers (come on and let’s give these poor teachers a chance against these monsters)
- Little mini Chuck Norris’s in every classroom.
Sad that we have talk about any of this but it’s every parents responsibility to keep their kid as safe as possible with the changing times. I wish in all my heart that the I could say that the Newtown tragedy was an isolated incident but such mass shootings by disgruntled individuals seem to be a growing menace.
Since October, advertisers have been letting us know that Christmas is in the air and it’s time to spend. As BlackNEKS, we have an obligation to support the family by not going into credit card debt and acting financially responsible. Please keep that in mind for the holiday season. Also, as our children need to become productive citizens of society, spoiling them only hurts their character and expectations of how the real world works. Just take a look at this wonderful angel not happy with their Christmas gift to see how bad it can get: